"How to Wash A Ferret"

Step 1: Fill a tub with warm water......place Ferret in water and allow it to explore...it cannot climb out to the tub because it is too smooth a surface. Step 2: Take note of this fact should you need to plop the pesty varmet in there to ensure it cannot escape at a later date.

Step 3: Buy expensive cucumber scented Ferret shampoo and apply generously. Massage and lather the coat well.

Step 4: Take note that cucumber will NOT mask the smell of a ferret and that you need to stop and open a savings account for future Ferret purchases that will probably not work well if at all.

Step 5: Rinse well

Step 6: Take note that watching a Ferret paddle around the tub will be about the only "cute" thing involved in the "Washing Of A Ferret"